His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
