I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
