My first STD was from a foam party
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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