suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
