"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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