Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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