Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
jump out the window naked night went bad
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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