I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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