i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
