i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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