she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
