Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
