By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
