i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you would pick up someone in the library
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
