Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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