we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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