I wish I could punch you in the face.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
