I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
