I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
