Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
