playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
