You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
