It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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