The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
