Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
