Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
