Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My cat gives me a boner
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
