i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
only you would photoshop your dick
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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