I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
