So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
