SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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