Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
