Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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