you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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