I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
