Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
