she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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