Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
