You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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