Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
