Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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