I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
