if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
