I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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