brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
