Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
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Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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