He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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