Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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