just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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