Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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