The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't deserve a penis
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
