...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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