Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
