My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
