He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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