This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
tell me about the fingering
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
