State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
