it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I've blown a few things in my day
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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